суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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My lovely bestfriend got me thinking. Nothing ever will be the same again; itapos;ll never be how it was. Even if we do become friends again all the feelings have changed, and they have disapeared. I noticed I gave in to quickly, but if I didnapos;t would things be different than how they are now? I donapos;t want to change my life at this moment, itapos;s amazing.
I only wish it could of lasted longer.



As I was telling Katie my story, that I have never told her become, she decided to mock me.
Whattttabitch.

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Since losing my job things have gone from bad to worse. I havenapos;t found anything new yet and Iapos;m already really demoralized. Iapos;m under a lot of stress both from my parents and myself to figure out what the fuck Iapos;m going to do now.

Iapos;m very lonely lately. It feels like the closest people are on another planet. As much as I wish that I could draw comfort from the people who care about me online, itapos;s just not enough. Iapos;m tired of sitting alone in my room. Iapos;m tired of doing things alone and missing out on things I want to do because I donapos;t want to do them alone. I know that if I really want to do something I should just go and do it. Iapos;m just sick of it.

Things are essentially the same with Chesney. I donapos;t really know what to think in regards to her right now. I thought that we were on the same page, but lately Iapos;m not so sure. It really took me some time to trust her and all it takes is a bit of anxiety for me to fall apart. It may be a totally wrong assumption, but it just doesnapos;t feel like she really needs me around or even cares if I come or go. It may just be paranoia stemming from all of this anxiety, but it really doesnapos;t seem like Iapos;m very special to her at all. Last night I didnapos;t say goodnight to her for the first time in about two months. Not because Iapos;m particularly mad at her or disappointed, but because I feel so far away. I feel like a pest. I feel like Iapos;m bugging her and I feel like she is just indifferent to me. Itapos;s easy to feel like she doesnapos;t care about me when it doesnapos;t seem like she wants to make any effort at all. Maybe Iapos;m just feeling shitty about my entire life and itapos;s spilling over into my relationship with her. Maybe I just thought I had a relationship and I was wrong.

It feels like a really long time since I was happy. It feels like an even longer time since Iapos;ve been able to honestly open up to somebody. I probably havenapos;t felt comfortable enough to tell somebody when I needed them since I started dating Leah. But that was a lifetime ago and everything is different now.

Everything sucks so bad. Iapos;m not even excited about the Phillies going to the world series right now. Iapos;m just deperessed and lonely. I am struggling so hard just to find something I can look forward to. My birthday is coming but who cares? Halloween is coming but I have no friends to spend it with. The Exhumed marathon is coming, but again, no friends. I was wrong to get my hopes up. I was wrong to think that things would be different for some reason. Life sucks.

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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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Philosophy midterm tomorrow at 9 Arrgghhh *runs off ala roadrunner*

Real post once Iapos;m not trying to cram Aristotle into my brainspace. =3= I think Iapos;ll do fine, itapos;s just a bit worrisome since I have to not only do a quiz but do an oral presentation.

Though I think I did well on my math exam, at least. Note to self: espresso before a math test turns my brain into a superconductor, which is a good thing.

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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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My post bleach hair dripped a bit of water on my keyboard and now my enter key is fried

last night I dismantled the thing and cleaned it out but no luck. Enter key still fried. Speakers wibbling slightly. The cool thing I learned is computers have coded beeps for error messages when the bios loads. Six beeps means fried keyboard. Seven beeps means something like dead RAM, but itapos;s hard to count so I canapos;t tell if Iapos;m safe or suddenly fucked.

Good news is USB keyboards are plenty so Iapos;ll go pick one up soon. Maybe a fancy pants cordless kind so I can be even lazier than I already am. I think I should pick up a USB hub though too. Maybe one shaped like godzilla, fuck, why not???

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Today the students finished the anti-drug commercials they began writing yesterday. Some of the commercials will be video taped by our media specialist and broadcast on the Barber Morning Announcements during Red Ribbon Week.



HOMEWORK: None



SENTENCE TYPE POST TEST THIS FRIDAY. Students will be assessed on their ability to distinguish between simple, compound, and complex sentences.






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вторник, 14 октября 2008 г.

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Ahistaa niin saatanasti. On taas sellanen h�kkiin suljettu olo.


The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, youapos;ve gotta set me free.


V�lill� tuntuu et sein�t kaatuu p�lle.


The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
run around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me, you canapos;t tame me...


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Seems that the Massachusetts State Police has a tech budget. Remember this.

A few months back, I saw one of their new cruisers (ominously numbered 666, just to make it even more impressive.) Theyapos;re using Dodge Chargers now - big muscle cars that look like theyapos;ve got enough power to chew apart anything they could possibly encounter on the road. (And, in that stylish grey and blue, too)

But hereapos;s the kicker: they come with cloaking devices.

See, you could be tooling along on the Mass Pike, with the only car behind you being that slowpoke you passed about 2 minutes ago, barely visible in your rear-view mirror. Thereapos;s a string of three cars in from of you, so you ease over to the left lane, slowly overtake them, no big deal.

Except that thereapos;s something bright in your rear-view mirror now, where there shouldnapos;t be. In a move vaguely reminiscent of Klingons decloaking off the starboard bow, thereapos;s suddenly a trooper, right there, so close to your bumper you can barely see his headlights. Heapos;s giving off that impatient vibe of "I want to be going 85+, and you are in my way."

Now, you could just stay at 75, casually pass the cars, and slip over. But he seems like he wants to be past you, now. And you donapos;t want to annoy the nice, friendly officer. So, maybe you speed up, punch it, to pass the cars. Except, remember what I said about the car, all bunched muscle like a hunting cat ready to pounce. This is a state trooper - theyapos;re like predators, running only attracts their attention And there, gentle reader, is the conundrum.

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понедельник, 13 октября 2008 г.

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Texture_1013
All of these are mammals. Jack and I just returned from a mini-vacation in FL, where we saw these creatures. Each instance made me cry more than the one before. I have a big, big problem with animals held in captivity. For Jack's sake, I do my level-headed best to keep my trap shut - but seeing an animal pacing frantically behind a chain-link face IS a teachable moment no matter how you slice it. I don't forego those.



Back to textures, anyone have any guesses?



Texture_1013b



Texture_1013c


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